Category Archives: self-actualization

    Categories Advice, Anxiety, Emotional pain, Fear, flare up, freedom, Health, motivation, positivity, self-actualization, Self-doubt, Speak your mind, stress relief, Worry

    Rock Bottom to Awareness

    How do you get up from rock bottom?

    What do you do when you fall on your butt?

    What do you do when it feels like everything is falling apart?

    What do you do when life keeps sending you obstacles that throw you off course?

     

    Life always seems to send obstacles and challenges to throw us of course.  These obstacles can create frustration, stress and anxiety within us.  The journey can be annoying and difficult when you allow the stressful emotions to take over.  But actually each unique challenge is meant to make us stronger as we learn and grow. I have had plenty of rock bottom moments.  So many moments that threw me completely off course because stress got in the way.  And in the heat of the moment getting caught in the overwhelm and frustration creates havoc in our lives.  I have made plenty of these mistakes by getting caught in overwhelm and losing sight of my goals, dreams and purpose.  The amazing thing I have learned is that even after really challenging moments, everything works out in our favor in the long run.  In the midst of chaos it appears that our world is caving in around us but after all the dust settles, we evolve and life is better.

     

    Think about a stressful moment in your past.  Something that felt overwhelming and frustrating in the moment.  Maybe it was a physical injury, a lost job, a break up, a big argument or an illness.  In the heat of the moment you likely got caught up in the stressful feelings making you feel helpless and hopeless.  The effects of this stressful moment can last hours, days, weeks or months.  Trust me I know that some of these obstacles can truly get in our way and make us feel like the world is against us.  I have felt that way plenty of times.  Now think about that same situation after a few months passed.  Things settled and life started to return to normal. Your drive and motivation returned.  And life returned to its typical pace.  And when you reflect on those events, you might notice that everything worked out. But it wasn’t exactly as you planned it. For example, back in November 2019, I had an upset customer throw my life completely off balance.  In the heat of the moment, I was caught in my stressful emotions and felt a deep dread and impending doom.  I was caught in negative emotions and let the stress take over my life for weeks.  During this stressful situation, I felt helpless, hopeless and alone.  And literally in that moment when it all transpired, I was alone.  It all happened when my husband was away with my oldest son.  I was home alone with my youngest.  And I could have been enjoying this fun bonding time with him.  But instead I was dealing with the subconscious self-limiting beliefs that made me spiral into a sense of fear and overwhelm.  I was so stressed and anxious that I completely felt like my world was caving in on me. And I forgot I had 15 years of amazing customer service on my side.  I forgot that everyone has a bad day sometimes.  I forgot that sometimes you can’t please everyone even when you do everything in your power to support them.  I forgot that I am amazing at my job and that my colleagues all new it.  I lost sight of who I am and I lost hope for everything.  And that extreme stress caused sudden emotional shifts and crying fits. And this wasn’t the first or the last intensely stressful situation.

     

    In the heat of the moment, I let stress, anxiety and fear get the best of me. The situation left me feeling drained, exhausted and frustrated on all levels. I was physically drained of energy.  I lost mental focus and productivity.  I was emotionally frustrated and overwhelmed.  The funny thing is that I know better.  I know the power of using your awareness to free your body and mind of negative emotions.  And I teach my clients to use their awareness to take action and get out of these situations.  But everyone makes mistakes, even me. Because the subconscious mind is more powerful than we can imagine.  And I let myself spiral into the old frustrated version of myself.  I lost sight of all the amazing things in my life because I let the stress of that situation get the best of me.  And when stress gets the best of you, it can completely take over your life.  And it did for quite a while, until I began to slowly take charge of my life again.

     

    That challenging moment kept getting in my way as my self-limiting beliefs and negative thoughts took over my mind.  It continued for a few months as I worked through those negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.   And as I dealt with the true root of the problem my awareness and clarity began to unveil itself.  I have always known the root cause of our emotional shifts come from deep in our past experiences.  The emotional turmoil feels like it is the result of the current situation.  But that deep sense of overwhelm and frustration stems from something way in our past that is imbedded in our subconscious mind.  These overwhelming emotions usually stem from our past childhood and adolescent experiences that were never processed or resolved thoroughly.  And I have worked through many but the subconscious mind always needs attention.

     

    I slowly regained my self-confidence, motivation and drive.  But the journey back was dreadful and I know it was my choice to allow that to take place.  I could have responded differently and ended the torment quickly.  Thankfully, my reputation for great customer service, kindness and compassion prevailed.  And that dreadful day slowly disappeared from my mind.  In that moment of intense anxiety, stress and overwhelm; I was stuck in emotions from the past.  I was processing emotions from my childhood as a Special needs child.  Most people don’t realize that I had a Learning Disability.  They can’t believe that a successful Nurse and Educator could possibly have had learning challenges.  But I did and the journey was not easy.  I worked hard to get out of special classes and eventually graduate with honors from High school and college. But my unprocessed emotions from my childhood were hidden far away in my subconscious mind.  I honestly had no memory or recollection of my experiences as a special needs child.  Actually my childhood was all a blur and I know now it is because I was always stuck in the fight or flight response.  I spent most of my life stuck in this dreadful state of overwhelm and my health declined progressively till I took charge in my 30s.  The stress response was always in motion for me creating havoc on my body physically and emotionally. Just to paint a little picture of what stress can do to your body. I had lost half of my hair by my 20s.  I had severe digestive issues that eventually required surgery and multiple prescriptions.  I had chronic pain and numbness that began in High school. And my health was at a point of crisis in my mid 30s.

     

    Now let’s jump back to the experiences with self-limiting beliefs as a special needs child.  I honestly had no recollection of my experiences as a special needs child until the dust settled after the incident in November.  I realized that all those intense emotions had nothing to do with the situation at hand.  But rather my physical and emotional response mirrored my childhood when I was bullied for being different.  I was teased and picked on because it took me longer to take tests.  I was teased because math and reading was harder for me.  I was ridiculed because I was different from everyone else.  I was isolated because I was the girl that had to leave mainstream class to go to several special classes during the day. I was made fun of because I was bigger and more voluptuous than girls my age.  I was under so much stress due to this emotional turmoil and frustration that I had completely blocked most of my childhood memories.  As a means of protection my mind literally shut down and hid most of my childhood memories, even the good ones.

     

    A few weeks after issue in November, the dust settled and life came back to normal. My career was intact and my overwhelming emotions had resolved.  And as families reached out to me for support to help their special needs children with anxiety a huge realization happened within.  And I finally realized bullying was part of my past that I had never recognized or recalled.  And I never would have realized that truth about my past if this challenge wasn’t placed in my path.  That customer through me off course because it was time for me to evolve and grow from that experience.  It was time for me to process the past and let go of those negative feelings that no longer serve me.  And I needed to realize that I had the power to decide if I would let people push my buttons.  I was finally in charge and I didn’t need to allow others to impact my emotional state or drain my energy anymore.  It is ironic because I knew that I needed to set boundaries, I even talk about it in my book, “The Truth about IBS and Anxiety.”  But I didn’t realize I needed to set clear boundaries with everyone including strangers.  It is funny how sometimes you need a slap in the face to wake up and see the clear picture in front of you.  It all worked out in the end and I learned from my mistakes.  But it took a while for the truth of this experience to enter my conscious mind.  And it all happened this week as a much more obvious obstacle came in my way.  And sometimes the challenge is a wakeup call.

     

    This week those pesky negative thoughts were pushing me once again. It all became clear after I literally fell on my butt.  This time it wasn’t an event that made me stumble and fall.  It wasn’t an argument or confrontation.  It was literally an internal fight within my mind that threw me off balance.  Let’s just say it started 20 minutes before the moment I lost my balance and fell on my butt.  And it occurred because I wasn’t practicing what I teach.  I wasn’t transforming the negative voice in my head.  I wasn’t using my awareness to set myself free from the stress.  Instead I was letting the negative voice take over my emotions and creating a sense of hopelessness once again.  Some people might call this negative voice, Chatty Cathy, but I call her Negative Nancy.  Or for the gentlemen I call him Negative Norm.  Let’s just say Negative Nancy was on overdrive in my mind and those thoughts were getting in my way.  And since I wasn’t paying attention, I was about to get a rude awakening. It was time for me to practice what I preach but I wasn’t listening or observing the message. I was falling back into my stress cycle and I needed a wakeup call to see it.  Something had to give for me to see clearly.

     

    And boom the signs were all about to become super clear once everything fell apart.  I stubbed my big toe. My subconscious mind didn’t budge and I kept allowing Negative Nancy to take over.  And as the helplessness grew in my mind, my anxiety began to take over.  My emotions of frustration were building and I was getting grumpy for no apparent reason.  The day had been beautiful, peaceful and relaxing but I was not feeling relaxed at all.  My mind was stuck on negative overdrive for no apparent reason.  The message was going to be very different this time.  And boom I stubbed my pinkie toe with metal.  This bump made me see stars as the sharp pain radiated up my body.  It was so hard there was an instant hematoma.  It hurt so bad I had to breathe deeply to catch my breath.  It took a few minutes to get blood flow back to my head because the pain was overwhelming.   I was seeing black spots as the pain slowly resolved itself.  A few minutes later I realized my toe was bleeding and went to clean it up.  But my negative mind was still at full force and things were about to tumble quickly.

     

    I had no idea that I was going to experience an epiphany as my life flashed before my eyes. I had my right foot on the counter as I tried to clean my pinkie toe. I leaned over to reach for a tissue paper that was just inches away from me. But my body was not stable or balanced.  And suddenly I lost my balance and my life flashed before my eyes.  I tried to grab the toilet and stop the tumble to the floor.  It all happened in super slow motion as I remembered all the other times I had fallen and injured myself over the last 40+ years.  I slowly went down twisting in midair till my butt hit the toilet rim. After the sharp intense thump on my butt and hip I stumbled to the ground.  I laid on the ground for several minutes taking it all in.  I took deep breaths to regain my vision and energy.  It took some deep breathing to relieve the intense sharp pain in my lower back and butt. In this brief moment of breathing and reflecting, I realized that each of these injuries could have been avoided.  All of those events were under my control but I had chosen to let the negative voice take over.  I avoided using my awareness to set me free from the stress and the stress clouded my vision.  It is interesting how life literally needs to throw a curveball for you to see clearly.

     

    I took it all in.  Step by step from the moment I walked out of the car feeling stressed out.  I was worried about something.  And the impending doom made those negative thoughts and emotions go haywire in my brain.  And when your mind goes haywire everything goes off balance.  It literally throws your entire day off balance.  I didn’t realize how powerful the subconscious self-limiting beliefs were until I reflected on the events that had occurred since November.  My anger and negative emotions took over until I felt it in my body.  Yep, that is exactly what happens, when you stub your toe, hit your funny bone, cut your finger, etc.  You are thinking of something that the universe, god or whoever you believe in wants you to stop obsessing over.  To make a point and create a sense of awareness within you something will happen.  And that means an event, accident or confrontation will come into your life to get you to open your eyes and see it.  And hopefully you get the message and stop the negativity and self-loathing.  Hopefully you stop breath and reflect. And wake up and Smell the coffee.  The life events that come into our path are all learning experiences.  And life is great at changing the subject when you are smack in the middle of a stressful situation.

     

    We have all felt extra stress during this quarantine.  As a nurse, I left so many close friends, family and colleagues at the frontline.  It has been devastating to be far away from them when they needed support and love.  Yet, my fear and negative thoughts kept getting in my way.  I let all those negative thoughts stop me from reaching out to them when they needed me most.  And I spent the last few weeks working up my strength and resilience to help those I love most.  And it was my awareness after falling on my butt, that made me realize, this moment is exactly where I am supposed to be.  I was given a gift to share with the world.  And I have been hiding it because of my own insecurities and self-doubt.  I have been hiding because I fear what people will think of my uniqueness.  But the truth is it doesn’t matter.  Because the people I love at the frontline deserve to see the silly side of me.  They deserve to have the funny girl that brings a smile, a joke and inspirational words into their days.  And if that means I get on Camera with a wig and make a funny joke as I teach a relaxation technique then so be it. So after falling on my butt, I realized that my uniqueness can inspire others to use their awareness to set themselves free from the turmoil within.  And I was inspired to create a unique experience for my friends and colleagues at the frontline.  So I created a video teaching some simple relaxation techniques wearing one of my wigs. So the moral of this story is get up and get out of your own way.  The world is sending me challenges and obstacles for you to evolve into the person you dream.  Sitting at the sidelines doesn’t serve anyone. So get up and get moving.  Your awareness and action can set you free from the stress that lies within.

    Categories Anxiety, Chronic Pain, Emotional pain, Empath, Empathy, fatigue, Fear, flare up, Fulfillment, Health, hope, Human Needs, motivation, Physical Pain, positivity, self-actualization, Self-doubt, Speak your mind

    An Empathic Awekening

    What is empathy?  Empathy is a sense of understanding the feelings and experiences of another person.   Many of us are empathetic towards our friends, coworkers or family members experiences.  And we have some form of empathy this sense of every day in conversations or communication with others.  We may even experience empathy watching a movie, TV show or listening to a song.  There are many unique individuals that choose to live a life of empathy and service to others.  Those special individuals live a life of service in one form or another to better the lives of the world around them.  They often choose their profession because of their high sense of empathy and compassion towards others.  These loving individuals in the health care or service profession experience more empathic situations than others do because of their work environment.  For example, my profession healthcare (nurses, doctors, EMT, Medical Assistants, Fire fighters, etc.) experience much more empathy because their career choice is founded on helping others.  Every day they care for patients facing health challenges and they serve them in their role.  Each of their patients is facing unique experiences that involve some form of physical or emotional pain.  The healthcare workers role is empathic in and of itself, simply by their conscious decision to help others.  Many health care workers may experience added stress or health issues because of their career choice and the way they process these experiences.

    And yet there are still people that experience an extreme sense of empathy.  This highly exclusive gift is almost impossible for others to understand.  They experience empathy at a cellular level throughout their entire body.  You can’t imagine feeling this form of empathy unless you experience it first-hand.  Those enlightened individuals are empath’s and they feel exponentially more than everyone around them.  Empath’s are individuals with a gift of hypersensitivity.  Some may call it a curse but I call it a gift.  Of course to reach this point of awareness and acceptance was quite a journey for me and those around me.   Empath’s are hypersensitive to the feelings, thoughts, pains and emotions of others.  That little fact was even hard for me to understand even-though I had an intuitive feeling lingering in my mind for a long time.  The interesting fact is that many empaths (hypersensitive people) don’t even realize the extent of their empathy or the toll it can take on their own health.  For instance my career paths have always lead me to a trajectory of caring for others in various roles and environments.  My careers gradually transitioned and transformed from one career into the next in the service realm.   Every career choice was a compassionate one: Special Education Teacher, Nursing Assistant, Registered Nurse, Health Coach, Hypnotist and now Transformational Author.  These are all careers based on supporting the community by nurturing, caring, and loving others.  All of these career choices were based on love and a hope to make a difference.  They were each an opportunity to improve the lives of those around me.  I acknowledged my empath gift a few years ago but didn’t understand its true impact.  I had NO idea the significant role it played in my own emotional and physical wellbeing.  I had seen a rollercoaster decline in my health and happiness but had no idea my empathic gift was the culprit.  And truly it wasn’t the culprit at ALL now that I understand my gift.  The cause of my health decline was my lack of understanding and preparation to live with my special gift.  After all we may be born empathic but the cultivation of a deep connection with Your Inner Strength takes time.  It was my lack of knowledge that caused me to fail at meeting my own basic human needs.  It was a lack of self-loving, self-care practices that was my downfall.  It was my lack of knowledge about self-protection that truly opened my eyes.

    Imagine a person that is so open and willing to help others every second of everyday.  They are so willing that they do this subconsciously all day long, 365 days a year, over and over again.  And I mean in the moment and every moment.  It could be a text message, phone call, face to face conversation or care-giver relationship.  You name the situation and my body was ready to tackle it. And I had no idea it was happening for almost 38 years.  I was effortlessly absorbing feelings, thoughts, emotions, pain and experiences of those around me.   I absolutely mean absorb because that is what empaths do.    And that is exactly what I used to do every day.  I was completely oblivious and unaware it was happening.  I did it with patients, complete stranger, friends, family members, co-worker, etc. It didn’t matter who it was if they were in pain I was ready to fix them or give them a little relief.  The true awakening began when I noticed TV shows and movies triggered intense feelings.

    Hypersensitive people are extremely sensitive to the energetic vibrations, emotions, thoughts and feelings of others.  This weird phenomena can actually allow them to absorb the feelings, thoughts and emotions of others into their bodies.  I know it sounds crazy because until I experienced it for myself I thought it was a crazy too.  Then I started to feel intense emotions during movies and TV shows.  The most significant experiences I had were watching Game of Thrones or other violent shows.  And the most traumatic scenes in the first few episodes of Game of Thrones were the hardest for me to handle. I could feel the good, the bad and the ugly.  I could feel everything as if it was happening to me.  I could see the pain in Kalisi’s eyes as her new husband raped her.  I could feel her pain when her brother treated her like garbage.  It wasn’t always negative or bad.  I felt the good ones too.  I could feel her love transform into something new for her husband.  And when I say feel, I mean my heart would race, my blood would boil, the emotions would pop into my head and fill my entire body. I could feel her fear; her shame and it took a lot of work to be able to watch the few episodes that I did.  We tried to watch it years ago but it was too violent and at that point I hadn’t established a self-love routine.  This past year we tried to watch it again and every time those rough and tough emotions came up I practiced my own routine on the couch amidst the chaotic show.  Yep, I changed my breathing pattern, I chanted affirmations in my mind, I practiced my stretching and relaxation techniques to release those emotions that had entered me.  It was an exhausting process and eventually we stopped watching the show.  I truly thought it was an amazing show but it was a lot of work to stay relaxed and calm because I hadn’t learned how to protect myself yet.

    After this phenomena, I was more aware of feelings and emotions in my body.  I started to feel weird sensations in my body during conversations with friends, coworkers and family members.  I began experiencing pain in areas that had been pain free for years.  Random pains would emerge once again.  Sometimes the pain would vanish after some self-love routines and others would last for days or even weeks.  You see I still hadn’t learned a crucial element to prevent or limit this phenomenon.  And truly this little crucial element is beneficial to everyone not only empaths because it promotes your own resiliency by building your own inner strength.

    Have you ever had a conversation and suddenly your head hurts?  Or Your shoulders tense up?  or  You get a sharp pain in your stomach?  Once, I started to put things together and realize this was my reality I began to ask myself questions.  Why does my back hurt?  What is the message my body is sending?  Suddenly, I started to ask myself a lot of questions.  This little practice began several months ago.  I began to see patterns with friends, family and strangers.  I realized that many pains that arouse in my body were not mine: back pain, shoulder pain or headache.  I’m not sure if they experienced any relief but suddenly after the conversation ended, I had their pain too.  Some might say its psychological, you are imagining it but I wasn’t.  They didn’t tell me they were in pain, I wasn’t assessing them as a nurse does, yet boom it came.  Then later on in the day they would mention they had a headache or their right shoulder hurt and it confirmed what my intuition had already told me.  And when I say I had pain I mean it.  My muscles were tight and tender, I was less flexible.  My muscles would making popping and snapping noises and activities became harder to perform.   Let’s just say the things I had worked so hard to relieve started pilling back up again.  My arm pain or back pain would be debilitating once again.

    It would happen suddenly in the middle of a conversation, my neck suddenly tightened and tensed up causing a radiating pain.  Then I would take some time to meditate, breath and relax.  I would ask myself.  Is this my pain mine or someone else’s? Boom, a name would pop into my head.  Then I would think about the conversation and any visual cues I had received.  Maybe the person was rubbing their neck or told me they had a headache.  I usually didn’t know they were in pain during the conversation.  Mysteriously symptoms would arise all the time out of absolutely thin air.  It helped me understand a little more why working bedside in the Pediatric Emergency Room was so difficult for me.  Being such a loving person and trying to heal the pain of those beautiful little children had eventually taken a toll so huge that I had to leave them behind.   But I hadn’t figured this out until now.   And I left bedside nursing more than 9 years ago because I left when my oldest was little.  You see I have been taking care of myself for years already and my chronic pain is pretty much non-existent.  I literally had to give up bedside care because my body couldn’t take it and my doctor was worried I was going to die if it continued.  Fast forward to this year, I am aware that I can feel these intense emotions and am creating a routine to relax and calm but I’m still missing a key element protection.  I get flare ups here and there but the extent of my pain is never close to what it was 6 or 7 years ago.  Then I travel to Hawaii with my family.  People that I love more than anything in the world.  People that I would give my life for and obviously if I absorb the pain of strangers my body was open and ready to take on their pain too.  Traveling in a group is always stressful.  We all know that it’s hard to please everyone and I always try to please everyone.  So I did, I used my ho’oponopono and my self-loving practices blessing everyone in my family.  I blessed them all every single one of them all day long.  If there was a family argument I blessed them.  If the kids were fighting I blessed them.  If we couldn’t agree on a tour, I blessed them.  If we were in a car for a long time and tension was running high, I blessed them.  I thought I was helping myself in the process that the blessings would help me remain peaceful, calm and protected.  They helped me stay peaceful and calm but I definitely wasn’t protected.  Each day I was exhausted and drained.  I would fall asleep early and wake up exhausted.  I didn’t realize I was missing some crucial steps in my process until I returned from Hawaii and read a book that arrived as a gift from my Publisher. Ramses Rodriguez’s book “Stop Pressing Your Own Panic Button” opened my eyes to my gift.  It also brought to light a doctor that has my special gift.  She has dedicated her career to help people understand their gift and protect themselves. Dr. Judith Orloff wrote the “The Empath’s Survival Guide” really opened my eyes.  I began to listen to her book on audible and them progressed to purchasing her program for additional insight.  And suddenly it all made sense, the exhaustion and the desire to rush home early from Paradise.  By the end of my trip to Hawaii, I was exhausted, drained and overwhelmed.  The lack of protection for myself caused me to feel completely overwhelmed and snappy.  I was snapping at people, grumpy and making hasty decisions because I just couldn’t take any more stress.  I had spent the entire trip blessing everyone around me and had lost myself.  I had lost my happy, positive attitude and upbeat personality.  I was at complete exhaustion and the only thing I could think about was getting home.  I still oblivious of my true gifts and the impact it was having on my own health.  I hadn’t developed a protection routine for myself because I didn’t know I needed one.  I was still taking on the emotions, thoughts, pains and energies of everyone around me even though I didn’t want to. And thus my Empath awakening happened. It has been a few weeks since we returned from that spectacular trip that enlightened me to the true powers of my gifts.  It also helped me realize the importance of creating a routine for myself that truly gave me resilience and happiness.  The funny thing I learned along the way is these little routines that I have are not only beneficial to me but everyone around me.  This week a course came into my email at Baptist called “Highly Resilient Nurses” that cemented this little fact in my mind.  The course spoke of some of the practices I have developed for myself over the past few years.  My practice is still significantly different than anything I have encountered out in the world.  But I realize now that I am on the right path and that Hawaii was the trip that brought my true awakening to light.  After all we all need to fall to stand up again.  We all need to crawl to walk.  We all need to hurt to heal.  So now it’s time to write the Transformation book I was born to write.

     

    So Here is a little gift.  I created it for all those empath’s out there.  Those Special people like me that feel more than the rest.  Those people that have a unique gift and were born to help the world around them.  And maybe even live in the health care world like I do.  Take time for yourself to listen and relax before you begin your day.  Create a sense of protection for yourself every morning.  This practice of self-love will make your day Fabulous.  Blessings and Joy to all of you. Click the image below to list to the Meditation.

    Morning Meditation
    Empathic Awakening
    Categories Fear, Fulfillment, kids, motivation, self-actualization

    Rappel Adventure

    The best day in Hawaii was definitely our Rappel day in Maui.  It was our only alone time together during our family vacation.  We spent the day laughing and pushing our limits in the Forest.  It was a very peaceful day with the boys.  By far this quiet and adventurous day in Maui was a bonding experience for all of us.  It was just us and two other guests on the tour that day.  The Rappel venue was in a picturesque and peaceful landscape in Maui.  It was a an amazing picturesque drive through the windy two lane highway up the mountain coast towards Hana.  We enjoyed ourselves learning about the history of Maui during the car ride up to the venue.  The road was impressive with only two lanes following the twists and turns of the mountain side.  The views were spectacular with beautiful scenery all the way to the Rappel site.  We enjoyed the conversations and adventures with our tour guides and fellow guests.  This spectacular adventure with Rappel Maui was an enlightening experience.  It was a quiet day of bonding and adventure for our little family.  We enjoyed quiet time in the lush landscapes of Maui.  Kate and Chris were very knowledgeable and experienced tour guides.  We felt safe the entire time we walked through the forest and Rappel down the waterfalls.  Lucas is a rock climber here in Miami and the Rappel tour was an adventure aligned with his passion.  Gabriel enjoyed the experience too.  It wasn’t any easy task to maneuver.  It tests you physically and mentally to put all your trust your skills in such an intense environment.  I have never tried an adventure like this before.  I rock climb occasionally in Miami but it isn’t the easiest task for me.  It can be scary to trust the safety equipment and let go of your fears.  Standing at the top of the cliffs is an enlightening and scary experience.  Standing at the edge of the cliff looking down tests your mind and body.   Fear can easily set in if you allow it to take over.  Thankfully my sense of adventure and resilience kept me calm and relaxed.   I was excited to push my own limits because the old me never would have been able to accomplish this physically and mentally intense adventure.  The old me never would have attempted such a challenging tour because chronic pain and illness had left me with limited strength and physical abilities.  I knew this tour was a test of my physical and mental resilience from the moment I booked it.  I worked hard to regain my physical strength over the past 6 years to push my limits in Hawaii.  Before the first climb I was talking to Luis one of the guests about the significance of this tour for me.  I told him the old me 6 years ago would never have been able to physically deal with the challenges of this tour.  I worked hard to regain my mobility, flexibility and overcome my chronic pain.  It was a huge accomplishment in my life and this tour was truly going to tackle those last little fears I was holding.  Hawaii had a bunch of adventurous tours and my journey had brought me here to finally prove to my subconscious that I am strong, powerful and ready for anything. I was truly ready for it all.  Ready to tackle the physical and mental tasks the tour would bring.  The first fear was trusting the equipment and allowing myself to lean into it.  My first Rappel landed me on my stomach on a cushion as I mastered this little task.  But I got up quickly and climbed down ready to tackle the waterfalls.  The equipment was all set up and everyone was securely tied throughout our walk and Rappel through the forest.  When we arrived at the first waterfall things really started to get real.  It was a spectacular view of the forest and top of the waterfall.  We each took our turns slowly Rappelling down the cliff.  I was super calm and relaxed as I watched Gabriel begin his first waterfall.  I didn’t expect what happened next but I knew that he was safe.  I also knew that I was strong and capable of keeping calm and relaxed through it all.  Gabriel slipped at the top of the waterfall briefly.  He was tied up laying on top of the waterfall with his feet dangling of the cliffs edge.  I knew the equipment was safe and secure.  Chris was next to him the entire time talking and guiding him through it.  I trusted his expertise to get Gabriel (my baby) out of his predicament.  None the less it was still a scary experience watching Gabriel dangle at the edge of the waterfall.  I took a deep breath and focused on my inner calm as I watched Gabriel get back up and secure his stance again.  I continued to breath as he Rappelled down the waterfall.  My heart was racing as I watched Gabriel regain his footing and push his limits safely down the cliff.  I kept myself calm and centered through the experience but I’m sure the fear was evident in my face.  Once he was safely at the bottom it was time for Lucas to follow in his path.  My little Lucas had waited months for this little adventure.  I could see the excitement in his eyes as he began his descent down the waterfall.  He is a tiny little guy but strong and adventurous.  He enjoyed every moment of the tour to the fullest.  It was equally scary watching my little bundle of joy Rappel down the mountain but he did it effortlessly with a huge smile.  Then it was my turn.  It was time to test my physical and mental resilience to the fullest.  My first cliff Rappel experience wasn’t easy but I was determined to go down the waterfall safely and efficiently.  I used my own breathing and centering techniques while I pushed my physical limits.  I slowly and meticulously pushed my butt back secured my stance and climbed slowly down the watery rocks.  It was intense and I didn’t want to look down.  Looking up at the photographer was scary too but I rocked it!!! The tour guides actually told me that I smoothly Rappelled down the waterfalls better than the boys did.  Kate and Chris could hear my breathing and told me they liked it.  I was actually using self-hypnosis, positive self-talk and breath work throughout the whole descent down the cliff.  I’ve become comfortable with my weird breathing patterns and don’t worry what others think about it.  It didn’t matter to me if others were listening or thought I was weird.  The slow deep breaths kept me focused and calm during the adventurous tour.  I used different techniques throughout the day.  Sometimes people can notice and sometimes they can’t. I’ve learned to honor the way I feel and do what I need regardless of the views the world may have of me.  Honestly most of the time people don’t notice or care much about what you do.  We tend to worry about these things excessively for no reason.  It was a spectacular day immersed in the forest of Maui.  We enjoyed the peace and quiet as we watched each other Rappel.  We jumped into the cool spring water after each waterfall.  The boys saw crayfish and shrimp in the water pools.  It was by far the best day in Hawaii.  We experienced thrills and excitement while be bonded together.  It was amazing to spend a quiet day alone in nature with my boys.  I will remember Maui forever.

     

    Categories Advice, Anxiety, freedom, Health, hope, positivity, self-actualization, Self-doubt

    Fight the Fear

    Fighting your fears is definitely a life changing experience.  I never thought I would be where I am today.  This past year has been an enlightening and nurturing experience.  We all have fears in our lives.  The biggest problem with fears happens when they overwhelm us and hold us back in life.  If we let the fears win then we don’t get to live the life we deserve.  Letting our fears get the better of us causes us to let our dreams dwindle away.  Thankfully I didn’t let that happen. Fighting my fears has been an uphill battle and the ultimate learning experience.  Learning my triggers and challenges through awareness has been an enlightening experience.  Tackling your fears is a slow process but worth every moment.  We need to start with the fears that impact us in our daily lives and progressively work up to the really difficult ones.  We face fears everyday during our regular life experience.  They can come up during conversations, work, daily life, music, television and even social media.  I started with little fears that were impacting my creativity and voice.  Its hard for many to believe that I had a fear of creating videos, public speaking and writing.  I was able to tackle my fears by reframing the subconscious blocks in my mind that made me believe I wasn’t worthy of achieving my dreams.  I learned to develop strategies to cope with the stressful physical response fears created in my body.  Over time I learned exactly what helped me relax, unwind and connect with my inner sense of calm.  Everyone has their own unique interests and coping mechanisms to deal with stress.  We don’t always know the techniques that work until we begin to invest in ourselves and find strategies that are proven to work to relieve stress.  Over time I developed my proactive approach to stress management which brought me my sense of happiness and joy.  The interesting thing that happens when you begin to unravel your fears is you true path in life emerges.  When you clean away the debris stress leaves behind inside our bodies it uncovers your passions and desires.  The path to emergence creates a proactive approach to overcome obstacles and challenges.  Developing this proactive approach which I now call my happiness framework took me almost a year to solidify and reinforce.  The interesting fact that emerged this week is that everything I have done to tackle the little things actually works for the big fears.  As I thought back to my past experiences with travel and airplanes I realize that fear used to shut me down in life.  I used to need a prescription to deal with the stress of travel and the anxiety that built when I felt confined in an airplane.  I remember my last long flight to Europe wasn’t an easy task and the only reason I was able to deal with it was because I had Celexa and Ativan on hand.  I am so thankful that I found my way out of the prescription patch up and developed a true proactive approach to deal with my stress.  I was a completely different person on the flight to Hawaii.  This was by far the longest flight I have ever taken.   Two separate flights lasting about 11 hours total.  The true test of my happiness framework came during the 8 hour flight to Honolulu.  Not only was I on a huge plane for 8 hours the seating arrangements were less than idea.  I was traveling with my boys but we were separated by strangers.  I was too far away to speak to them but close enough to see them.  It was impossible to get their attention to ask a question or to get something from them.  You see I was stuck in the center seat between two complete strangers.  And they were also stuck in two center seats between two strangers.  The old me would have been overwhelmed and panicked by this situation.  Instead I used everything that I new worked for me to connect with my inner calm and relaxation.  I listened to meditations and hypnosis sessions focused on empowerment, true purpose, wealth and abundance.  I glanced at my boys during the flight and filed with happiness at the peace and calm that they were experiencing.  I calmly closed my eyes and focused on centering myself through breathing and feeling.  Any emotions that came up during that long flight were washed away quickly allowing the sense of calm to grow.  When I was tired of relaxing I played tetris and listened to my dance album.  The old me would have been worried about what others thought of me and what I was doing but I truly didn’t care.  At times a song would come up that made me want to dance and I did.  Granted I was still stuck is a chair between two people but I wiggled and moves my arms in that tiny space jamming to the beat.  Sometimes I was so entranced in the song that I would close my eyes and jam even deeper.  I’m sure people walked by and thought I was a little strange but I didn’t care.  I didn’t care because I’ve learned and weird is a good thing.  I’ve learned that being myself is empowering and that no one can take that from me.  I’ve learned that the only person that needs to feel comfortable with it is me.  In a long day like this one tons of emotions came up but I let them flow easily and effortlessly.  Experiences from your past will pop into your head at any time and any situation but allowing yourself to feel centered and calm releases their hold on you.  When things would pop up I used Ho’oponopono, stretching and self-hypnosis to release them.  This unique proactive approach kept me feeling serene in a less than ideal situation.  I would normally have been pacing up and down the isle or worried about my kids but I felt completely aligned, safe and relaxed.  The flight was long and exhausting but fear didn’t get in my way.  It was truly an empowering experience to see that everything I had put into place for myself over the past year was exactly what I needed.  There was no longer a need for prescriptions to fog my brain or hide my experiences.  I am thankful for the journey to enlightenment because it truly set me FREE to live the life I desired and dreamed.  I am thankful that I can use everything I’ve learned to help others find their peace and calm.  It truly is a beautiful day.  I may be exhausted and unsure of the time but I know that my peace and calm is here to stay.  So if you want to connect with your sense of calm and inner strenght, check out my Facebook Group: Unleash Your Inner Strength today. I will begin posting videos today from Hawaii.  There will be some videos on You-tube as well but the bulk of the content will only be in Facebook.  I invite you to connect with your sense of calm in any situation.  You are powerful and resilient too.  It just takes a little guidance and support to get you feeling centered again.

    Categories Fulfillment, Human Needs, motivation, self-actualization

    Happiness is Achievable…

    Happiness is achievable in Life.  It is possible to Thrive and Feel Amazing in your daily life.  The path to Happiness starts with our basic human needs.  I’m sure your remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.  We learned this little concept over and over again throughout our Educational lives.  But did you really take time to think about it.  Are you meeting all of your needs for Self-Actualization?  Probably not.  Most people never meet this level of fulfillment which makes it difficult to reach true Happiness.  The first 3 levels are the building blocks of a Happy life and most people achieve those three essential areas.  We usually meet our physiological needs (food, water, warmth and rest).  Although not all foods are created equal and rest can be difficult for some people.  Our need for safety and security are usually met if we feel safe in our home and work environment.  Belonging and love is achieved with relationships that nurture and support you with love.  The top two levels are a little more complicated to achieve for most people.  The reason its difficult to achieve or maintain is we all have subconscious beliefs from our past that block us from these two stages: Esteem needs and Self-actualization.

    Why is it so complicated to meet Self-fulfillment? Think about it this way.  You are an amazing professional career and feel loved and supported at home.  Yet for some reason most days you feel like something is missing.  You want to do more with your life and feel your true purpose hasn’t happened yet.  You might not understand why these feelings continue to arise but they appear frequently.  Your mind throws you curveballs every day with negative thought and insecurities.  These beliefs are usually related to experiences in your past and rarely coincide with the way you truly feel.  They don’t resonate with your deepest desires, passions and dreams for your life.  That is exactly why… You feel stuck.   Stuck in a job you don’t find fulfilling.  Trapped in relationships that don’t nurture your growth and development.  Therefore you are stuck and you aren’t able to reach the top of your pyramid.  And the pressure trickles down into the other areas you already achieved.  You begin to realize that certain relationships aren’t as nurturing as you used to think.  You start to realize that some groups or people make you feel sad or off center.  This shifts into emotional state impact your sense of safety.  Thus the journey begins.  You begin to surround yourself with people that truly bring you happiness and joy.  You decrease connections with people that are negative or unsupportive and feel a little better.   The relationship shifts help you regain your safety and sense of belonging.  But ahhh.. You are stuck again.  Its all because our minds were programed in our childhood.  We were programmed with feelings and beliefs from our family, friends and ancestors.  These programmed beliefs that don’t resonate deep inside us create a shift in our needs and the way we feel.  Why?  Because your mind does’t truly believe that you are meeting your psychological and self-fulfillment needs.  It means that YOU have a huge potential to SHIFT and THRIVE.   That’s Right… Your mind is sending you messages through your thoughts and feelings to Push you to Change.  That is the power of the human mind.  The fact that your mind isn’t completely happy actually resonates in your body.  You may not even realize the connection but it is there.  We actually develop tenderness, pain and symptoms as our body tries to push you to take ACTION.

    Here is an example:  Your Boss comes to you with a project that needs to be done ASAP.  A sense of overwhelm creeps up on you.  Your face gets flush.  Your shoulder and necks muscles tighten.  You feel pressure in your chest.  You want to scream but its not appropriate, so you hold back.  You politely say ok even though you have no idea how to squeeze it into your day.  The day progresses and your stress accumulates but you manage to meet the deadline.  Yet your shoulder and neck are still on fire.  You still feel stressed out even though your work day is over.  Why?  Because you weren’t able to meet your Physiological needs.  You weren’t able to take a break and relax.  You weren’t able to do what you truly desired.  You just pushed through the motions to meet the minimum.  So what now? AWARENESS AND ACTION will set you Free.  So how exactly do you do that?

     

     

    Image by Bruce Wilson Graphics

    The first step was Deciding to Make YOURSELF the Priority.  Yep that’s Right.  You need to make your Needs a Priority.  That means you need to Invest in Your Personal Development.  This Unique Personal Development ensures you are meeting all your Unique needs to reach YOUR Self-Actualization.  The basic fact is YOU need to invest time, money and effort in new areas that help you feel happier, nurtured and fulfilled.  Why money?  The fact is your powerful mind won’t hold you accountable if you don’t invest financially.  Therefore you might begin to make changes but they won’t stick.  They might last a short time but without internal and external accountability your mind will eventually let it drift away.  Think about this.  You are more likely to go to the gym and exercise if you have made an investment or signed a contract.  If the Gym is free, you will go for a few days or weeks but there is no risk to you if you quit.  So eventually that is exactly what happens, you slow down and stop going.  Now, if you invest in a Personal trainer, you are more likely to push yourself to eat better, exercise and make shit happen.  Why? Because the investment hurts.  Just blowing away your money isn’t appealing to your subconscious. When you invest in a Personal trainer or program you are held accountable by yourself and the instructor.  Therefore, you are at an advantage to push through the resistance and make it happen.  Then you begin to see changes in yourself and that reinforces your drive to stick to the change and keep going.  So now that you understand your Human needs better.  Do you feel you are fulfilled?  Do you want to feel happier?  Do you feel you are living your life’s purpose?  Are you ready to THRIVE?

    The exciting fact is that you don’t have to start from scratch and figure this out alone.  You don’t have to try and fail over and over again.  It can be Easy and Empowering to nurture yourself.  Let’s Thrive Together.  All of this is Easily achieved with a Guided Path and a helping hand.   Your happiness framework is unique. It’s everything that helps you achieve happiness by meeting your hierarchy of needs.

    Let’s Cultivate a Routine that Helps YOU Blossom and Bloom. Nurture yourself Mind, Body and Soul.  The call is FREE, let’s Discover what makes you truly happy.  Schedule your Discovery call today.