Learning your personal stress triggers and fears is a huge part of emotional health and wellness. It is impossible to change the world around us but we can change the way we react to it. I’ve learned a lot about myself over this past year. Learning the way I react to criticism, comments and conversations with others wasn’t easy but it is an essential part of emotional health. Every single one of us has pre-established beliefs, rules and behavior patterns in our subconscious mind. The healing comes into play when we truly understand our own beliefs, rules and patterns. We can only change our responses and actions towards the events life sends our way. We all face challenges and obstacles in our daily lives that can impact our health and happiness. Our reactions to these obstacles and challenges impact our bodies in exponential ways. Over the years, keeping my true emotions trapped inside lead to an exponential changes in my body resulting in chronic illness and disease. I was a person that held in all my emotions, fears, worry and stress. I didn’t share them with anyone much less myself. I kept everything so bottled up and tight that my health began to fail more and more with each year that passed. These high stress levels impact our bodies cell by cell that accumulates over time developing illness and disease. Emotional intelligence is not something we are born with or learn in school. The more we experience stress and keep it bottled up inside the worse our emotional and physical health gets. I’ve learned that no one can hurt you more than you hurt yourself. We hurt ourselves everyday repetitively and harshly. We repeat the same hurtful and harmful statements to ourselves everyday. It’s a vicious cycle that creates a build up of emotional stress in our bodies. This emotional pile accumulates inside our tissues, organs and cells and eventually develops into symptoms, illness and disease.
My health issues started as a child with digestive issues, reflux, and IBS. I began bottling up my emotions and hiding my voice from the world as a child. I lost my creative side completely. The part of me that could write poems and paint, simply went to sleep when my voice went silent. The symptoms built up more and more each year until my health crisis in 2013. I reached a point in my life that any more stress was simply overwhelming and my body was ready to give up. It was evident in my emotional and physical health that something had to change. I reached my breaking point where my body just couldn’t take any more stress. I was getting my MSN degree, working in the PEDS ED and raising to young boys. My husband’s work schedule had him traveling all the time which added extra stress on my already full plate. At this point my hair was falling constantly, panic attacks were the norm and food was simply not digesting. I reached a point where water and saltine crackers were causing me stomach distress, nausea and pain. After extensive tests and hospitalization the truth was clear. My body was tearing itself down little by little. My stomach lining was eroding and ulcers were soon to develop in my stomach and intestines. The poor digestion and lack of nutrient absorption was impacting my skin, body and hair. The anxiety was causing panic and my chronic pain was at its peak. I was taking 13+ prescriptions and felt absolutely awful. My right arm and leg were numb and the pain was constantly severe. The doctor basically told me either you change your lifestyle or you are going to die. It was a scary truth that I had to face as a 36 year old young mom. The decision to place my health on my priority list was not easy. I had spent my entire life helping everyone else around me. Since childhood I had placed the feelings of everyone around me before my own. The decision I made was for me but even more for my children and husband. After all my health impacted my children the most good or bad. If I kept on that path my boys (Gabriel 7 and Lucas 3) would face a life without a loving and supportive mom to guide their way. Even typing that today brings tears to my eyes. I can imagine their beautiful little faces and lives impacted by my own lack of self-love. Over these 6 roller coaster years, I found my way back to my emotional and physical health. But the hardest part was this last year. The emotional journey to unlock the feelings and beliefs that had impacted my health over these 41 years. Now as a 41 year old mom of 2, I see the power in emotional health and wellness. I see the impact our emotions have on our bodies and that we harm ourselves more than anyone else can. We fail to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, behaviors and actions. We criticize ourselves more every single day about any little insecurity. Some of the criticisms I realize now runs really deep and impacts your body. I learned a month ago that I actually was angry with myself about the birth of my children. I was angry at myself for not having a vaginal birth. It was a decision that had to be made because my oldest was too big and likely would have been stuck in the birth canal. I didn’t realize the impact my anger had on my body until 12.5 years later. I realize inside my body, inside my yoni, I was blaming myself for not being good enough. I blamed myself and thought I wasn’t a good mom because of this little bump in the road. This little obstacle that gave me a precious gift a son that I love with all my heart. It just goes to show that you have no idea what your subconscious is hiding and the damage it can be causing in your body.
Low self-esteem and self-doubt plagued my mind throughout my life. When I was heavier, I used to say horrible things to myself when I looked in the mirror. “Yuck look at that cellulite. Omg look at that belly bump, you are so fat.” I would look at myself and not see the beautiful woman everyone else saw. I didn’t think I was beautiful, I had little self-esteem, I didn’t show myself much self-love. This continued for most of my life until 2013 when started making myself the priority. I started eating right and exercising. I began to show myself more kindness as my body started to feel better and the pain began to leave my body. I began loving the beautiful girl in the mirror. I started to see my body was changing, shedding weight, looking less bloated and a real smile started to emerge. It wasn’t the fake smile I had been hiding behind for so long. I had been hiding my physical pain from the world a long time. Finally, when that pain was gone and I connected with the truth behind it my true smile emerged. It’s a smile filled with self-love and appreciation for everything I had been through, everything I had learned and the new me emerged.
This journey of emotional healing and connecting with my intuition wasn’t easy. It takes dedication and self-love to truly get to the root cause. Learning that I had been keeping emotions trapped inside my body gave me the power to release them. I was holding a multitude of emotions. I had been a worrier all my life. I worried that I didn’t do things well, that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t beautiful, that I wasn’t loved, etc. I was holding many other emotions too. The thing I realized through hypnosis was that my subconscious not only had the power to hurt me but it had the power to heal. There are so many emotions we hold inside us. These emotions don’t serve us to keep them trapped inside. The more we allow them to build up inside our bodies the more symptoms arise. It’s very interesting to tap into your intuition and allow your body to give you the answers. When you connect with yourself through self-love and nurture your mind, body and soul everything unfolds. You become aware of the immediate tension that arises in your shoulders, when your feeling overwhelmed. You notices the knot erupting in your neck while you talk to a friend that tells you something upsetting. You feel the pressure in your chest when someone shares a truly emotional truth they experienced. You can actually close your eyes, scan your body, identify a sore spot and know exactly why it is tender. This is not pain or soreness from exercise or overuse of a muscle. This is emotional pain that you have absorbed inside your body. Sometimes the pain isn’t even your own. It sounds absolutely crazy, I know but I have learned that as an empath, I can actually absorb the physical and emotional pain of others. My intuition tells me exactly why the pain is there and only then am I able to release it. It’s essential to bring out the subconscious triggers from hiding into your conscious mind. You need to feel the emotions in the moment in order to Let it go!!! You need to feel the pain, feel the symptoms, cry if you need too, sit with it and feel it. Sometimes you need to work a little harder to get it out of your muscles and tissues. The power of naturally releasing pain comes into action when you combine the subconscious mind, the conscious mind and the physical body. I have learned my body so well that I can actually release physical pain, feel the fluids shift inside my body and sense the emotions change with it. Working with your body in this deep way connecting mind, body and soul empowers you to tackle your biggest trauma, your worst heartbreak and even your greatest fears. Understanding your bodies natural healing powers enables you to accomplish things you never dreamed. Letting go of the past that created turmoil inside your body creates a positivity that radiates out of you. Letting go of every emotion that no longer serves you sets you free. Let go, live your life, be free, be powerful, be abundant, be YOU!! ou can be the ultimate version of yourself, I believe in YOU!!!